10 July 2010
Harus ny di Post tanggal 10 Juni.
t has been such a short time isn't it? Since i started akusukatelor.blogspot.com.
I've never been thinking to stop posting here again until recent tragedies.
Well, this is my goodbye posting. Please apreciate it. Hope you like it. :)
Sedikit bernostalgia lagi, awal mula dari semua ini. Hehe. Dimulai dari buku2 nya Raditya Dika.
Yang sungguh impresif tapi bo'ong. Gw tidak ingat secara spesifik darimana gw tiba2 kepikiran untuk baca buku ny Radit.
Gw cuma inget dulu PIGllet sama Gobun sering bacot tentang buku2 kambing ini. Haha.
Lalu masuk ke kelas 2. Yah. As you know, Live in and the others. Dan pertengkaran di akhir kelas 2 karena masalah Anyer.
Yang gw inget pas itu gw sempet bilang "Lo ga ngerti apa arti ny teman". Gw bicara begitu bukan ny tanpa pertimbangan.
Setiap kata, setiap cacian, setiap pujian yang kluar dari mulut gw selalu punya tujuan dan makna yang memang kabur.
Maaf, kata2 itu pasti nyakitin banget. Tapi begitulah kenyataan yang gw rasakan. Yah. Bukti nyata ny gausah gw sebutkan lagi.
Lo boleh dengar kalimat gw, lo boleh cuekin gw (as you always do), lo boleh jutekin gw, lo boleh tidak mengakui gw, everything is up to you.
But the main thing you have to do is REINVENT yourself. I don't see you as the same person I used to share the gifted fun of science with.
The PIGllet I see know, is a hedonist. In other's eyes you might seem good, you might seem OK. But the question is, are you really enjoying your life?
Numerous pressures piling up on you. Your father have only a few time left to hold on to you. Desperate with your life, you forced yourself to be someone else.
(Or I just don't recognize you well). Ada yang hilang dari diri lo. Kemana mimpi2 lo yang dulu? Apakah DIA akan bahagia ngeliat lo dari atas sana dengan sifat lo yang sekarang?
Things are changing. But it doesn't mean you have to change your way.
Analogi ny begini. Anggap kedua orang tua lo sebagai kedua kaki lo. Lo berjalan dari A ke B melalui jalan Ganesha 9. Tapi terus satu dari kedua kaki lo itu lumpuh.
Ya, dan lo terjatuh sekali. Sedangkan jalan Ganesha 9 terasa smakin terjal dan sulit untuk dilalui. Seakan2 tanpa ada orang yang perduli sama lo (entah karena ketertutupan lo ato apa).
Lo cape untuk berjalan menyeret sebelah kaki lo di jalan terjal itu. Akhirnya lo pindah ke jalan Ganesha 10 yang lebih datar. Lantas apa yang lo temui di akhir jalan itu.
Sebuah pintu yang digembok. I mean, elo ga harus ngerubah jalan lo. Elo cukup merubah cara berjalan lo. Di dunia ini, semua hal yang penuh dosa memang enak.
Di dunia ini semua hal yang berhubungan dengan surga, tidak ada yang enak. Namun begitulah sistem yang telah ada sejak awal.
Popularity? Haha. Absolutely ridicolous. Popularity without contribution is a mere bullshit. And the worse case is Hypocrite. Tidak usah gw jelaskan betapa banyak ny hipokrit yang populer.
Sudah selesai segala hal yang ingin gw katakan. Hehe. Setidak ny ini bisa mengawali segala sesuatu ny dengan lebih baik. Temen2 lo akan selalu ada ngedukung lo walaupun mereka tidak subjektif dalam berpikir.
Akhir kata PIGllet, Happy Birthday. Kalo Tuhan mengizinkan sampe jumpa di Ganesha 10.
Kalo ada hal yang gw pelajari dari beberapa bulan belakangan ini adalah:
1. Jangan terlalu dekat dengan seseorang untuk menjaga clarity dalam berpikir. Kecuali elo uda punya kemampuan untuk menjaga clarity itu.
2. Ketahuilah siapa elo dan posisikan diri lo dengan benar. (My bad)
3. Teman bukan kata benda.
4. WOI! Berapa kali harus gw bilang jangan percaya APRIORI! Haha. Hal paling penting untuk menjadi Scientist adalah scientific mind.
5. Believe only in you and HIM.
6. Mengikuti yang nomor 2. Setiap orang punya kelebihan masing2. Terkadang, ada orang bodoh yang mengira dia hebat dalam satu hal padahal enggak (My bad. Again)
WELL. THIS IS IT. Menyedihkan bukan sebuah akhir itu?
Sandra Bullock once said, "Beggining are usually scary. Ending are usually sad. But everything in between that make life worth living".
Gw setuju sekali. Hehe. Semua yang uda terjadi. Semua perasaan gw yang pernah gw curahkan di blog ini. Semua tangis dan tawa yang pernah gw bagi terasa begitu indah sekarang.
Walau semua cuma sekejap. Sekejap saja bahagia lalu sedih. Sekejap saja sedih lalu bahagia. Tapi itu semua yang bikin hidup ini layak untuk dijalani bukan.
Sekali lagi. Untuk yang terakhir kali ny. Gw mengucapkan terima kasih dan selamat tinggal. Ini pun sekaligus menutup tirai kehidupan gw di SMA Don Bosco 2.
Life goes on. And thanks God, He gave me chance to be part of Ganesha 10, Institut Teknologi Bandung (FMIPA). Thanks.
Dan gw tetap berusaha ngeblog dengan cerita baru di [http://aku-suka-kentang.blogspot.com/]. Hehe.
Ditelorkan oleh Steve Yudea pada 7:31 PM
0 telor pecah
01 June 2010
It's Time to say Good Bye
When I am alone I sit and dream
And when I dream the words are missing
Yes I know that in a room so full of light
That all the light is missing
But I don't see you with me, with me
Close up the windows, bring the sun to my room
Through the door you've opened
Close inside of me the light you see
that you met in the darkness
Time to say goodbye
Horizons are never far
Would I have to find them alone
without true light of my own with you
I will go on ships on the seas
that I now know
No, they dont exist anymore
It's time to say goodbye
When you were so far away
I sit alone and dream of the horizon
Then I know that you are here with me, with me
Building bridges over land and sea
Shine a blinding light for you and me
To see, for us to be
Time to say goodbye.....
Horizons are never far
Would I have to find them alone
This song explains all I think.
Ditelorkan oleh Steve Yudea pada 10:47 PM
0 telor pecah
15 May 2010
Song of The Open Road (And A Few Babble)
Song of the Open Road
AFOOT and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose.
Henceforth I ask not good-fortune—I myself am good fortune;
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing, 5
Strong and content, I travel the open road.
The earth—that is sufficient;
I do not want the constellations any nearer;
I know they are very well where they are;
I know they suffice for those who belong to them. 10
(Still here I carry my old delicious burdens;
I carry them, men and women—I carry them with me wherever I go;
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them;
I am fill’d with them, and I will fill them in return.)
You road I enter upon and look around! I believe you are not all that is here; 15
I believe that much unseen is also here.
Here the profound lesson of reception, neither preference or denial;
The black with his woolly head, the felon, the diseas’d, the illiterate person, are not denied;
The birth, the hasting after the physician, the beggar’s tramp, the drunkard’s stagger, the laughing party of mechanics,
The escaped youth, the rich person’s carriage, the fop, the eloping couple, 20
The early market-man, the hearse, the moving of furniture into the town, the return back from the town,
They pass—I also pass—anything passes—none can be interdicted;
None but are accepted—none but are dear to me.
You air that serves me with breath to speak!
You objects that call from diffusion my meanings, and give them shape! 25
You light that wraps me and all things in delicate equable showers!
You paths worn in the irregular hollows by the roadsides!
I think you are latent with unseen existences—you are so dear to me.
You flagg’d walks of the cities! you strong curbs at the edges!
You ferries! you planks and posts of wharves! you timber-lined sides! you distant ships! 30
You rows of houses! you window-pierc’d façades! you roofs!
You porches and entrances! you copings and iron guards!
You windows whose transparent shells might expose so much!
You doors and ascending steps! you arches!
You gray stones of interminable pavements! you trodden crossings! 35
From all that has been near you, I believe you have imparted to yourselves, and now would impart the same secretly to me;
From the living and the dead I think you have peopled your impassive surfaces, and the spirits thereof would be evident and amicable with me.
The earth expanding right hand and left hand,
The picture alive, every part in its best light,
The music falling in where it is wanted, and stopping where it is not wanted, 40
The cheerful voice of the public road—the gay fresh sentiment of the road.
O highway I travel! O public road! do you say to me, Do not leave me?
Do you say, Venture not? If you leave me, you are lost?
Do you say, I am already prepared—I am well-beaten and undenied—adhere to me?
O public road! I say back, I am not afraid to leave you—yet I love you; 45
You express me better than I can express myself;
You shall be more to me than my poem.
I think heroic deeds were all conceiv’d in the open air, and all great poems also;
I think I could stop here myself, and do miracles;
(My judgments, thoughts, I henceforth try by the open air, the road;) 50
I think whatever I shall meet on the road I shall like, and whoever beholds me shall like me;
I think whoever I see must be happy.
From this hour, freedom!
From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute, 55
Listening to others, and considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.
I inhale great draughts of space;
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine. 60
I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.
All seems beautiful to me;
I can repeat over to men and women, You have done such good to me, I would do the same to you.
I will recruit for myself and you as I go; 65
I will scatter myself among men and women as I go;
I will toss the new gladness and roughness among them;
Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me;
Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me.
Now if a thousand perfect men were to appear, it would not amaze me; 70
Now if a thousand beautiful forms of women appear’d, it would not astonish me.
Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air, and to eat and sleep with the earth.
Here a great personal deed has room;
A great deed seizes upon the hearts of the whole race of men, 75
Its effusion of strength and will overwhelms law, and mocks all authority and all argument against it.
Here is the test of wisdom;
Wisdom is not finally tested in schools;
Wisdom cannot be pass’d from one having it, to another not having it;
Wisdom is of the Soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof, 80
Applies to all stages and objects and qualities, and is content,
Is the certainty of the reality and immortality of things, and the excellence of things;
Something there is in the float of the sight of things that provokes it out of the Soul.
Now I reëxamine philosophies and religions,
They may prove well in lecture-rooms, yet not prove at all under the spacious clouds, and along the landscape and flowing currents. 85
Here is realization;
Here is a man tallied—he realizes here what he has in him;
The past, the future, majesty, love—if they are vacant of you, you are vacant of them.
Only the kernel of every object nourishes;
Where is he who tears off the husks for you and me? 90
Where is he that undoes stratagems and envelopes for you and me?
Here is adhesiveness—it is not previously fashion’d—it is apropos;
Do you know what it is, as you pass, to be loved by strangers?
Do you know the talk of those turning eye-balls?
Here is the efflux of the Soul; 95
The efflux of the Soul comes from within, through embower’d gates, ever provoking questions:
These yearnings, why are they? These thoughts in the darkness, why are they?
Why are there men and women that while they are nigh me, the sun-light expands my blood?
Why, when they leave me, do my pennants of joy sink flat and lank?
Why are there trees I never walk under, but large and melodious thoughts descend upon me? 100
(I think they hang there winter and summer on those trees, and always drop fruit as I pass;)
What is it I interchange so suddenly with strangers?
What with some driver, as I ride on the seat by his side?
What with some fisherman, drawing his seine by the shore, as I walk by, and pause?
What gives me to be free to a woman’s or man’s good-will? What gives them to be free to mine? 105
The efflux of the Soul is happiness—here is happiness;
I think it pervades the open air, waiting at all times;
Now it flows unto us—we are rightly charged.
Here rises the fluid and attaching character;
The fluid and attaching character is the freshness and sweetness of man and woman; 110
(The herbs of the morning sprout no fresher and sweeter every day out of the roots of themselves, than it sprouts fresh and sweet continually out of itself.)
Toward the fluid and attaching character exudes the sweat of the love of young and old;
From it falls distill’d the charm that mocks beauty and attainments;
Toward it heaves the shuddering longing ache of contact.
Allons! whoever you are, come travel with me! 115
Traveling with me, you find what never tires.
The earth never tires;
The earth is rude, silent, incomprehensible at first—Nature is rude and incomprehensible at first;
Be not discouraged—keep on—there are divine things, well envelop’d;
I swear to you there are divine things more beautiful than words can tell. 120
Allons! we must not stop here!
However sweet these laid-up stores—however convenient this dwelling, we cannot remain here;
However shelter’d this port, and however calm these waters, we must not anchor here;
However welcome the hospitality that surrounds us, we are permitted to receive it but a little while.
Allons! the inducements shall be greater; 125
We will sail pathless and wild seas;
We will go where winds blow, waves dash, and the Yankee clipper speeds by under full sail.
Allons! with power, liberty, the earth, the elements!
Health, defiance, gayety, self-esteem, curiosity;
Allons! from all formules! 130
From your formules, O bat-eyed and materialistic priests!
The stale cadaver blocks up the passage—the burial waits no longer.
Allons! yet take warning!
He traveling with me needs the best blood, thews, endurance;
None may come to the trial, till he or she bring courage and health. 135
Come not here if you have already spent the best of yourself;
Only those may come, who come in sweet and determin’d bodies;
No diseas’d person—no rum-drinker or venereal taint is permitted here.
I and mine do not convince by arguments, similes, rhymes;
We convince by our presence. 140
Listen! I will be honest with you;
I do not offer the old smooth prizes, but offer rough new prizes;
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is call’d riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve, 145
You but arrive at the city to which you were destin’d—you hardly settle yourself to satisfaction, before you are call’d by an irresistible call to depart,
You shall be treated to the ironical smiles and mockings of those who remain behind you;
What beckonings of love you receive, you shall only answer with passionate kisses of parting,
You shall not allow the hold of those who spread their reach’d hands toward you.
Allons! after the GREAT COMPANIONS! and to belong to them! 150
They too are on the road! they are the swift and majestic men; they are the greatest women.
Over that which hinder’d them—over that which retarded—passing impediments large or small,
Committers of crimes, committers of many beautiful virtues,
Enjoyers of calms of seas, and storms of seas,
Sailors of many a ship, walkers of many a mile of land, 155
Habitués of many distant countries, habitués of far-distant dwellings,
Trusters of men and women, observers of cities, solitary toilers,
Pausers and contemplators of tufts, blossoms, shells of the shore,
Dancers at wedding-dances, kissers of brides, tender helpers of children, bearers of children,
Soldiers of revolts, standers by gaping graves, lowerers down of coffins, 160
Journeyers over consecutive seasons, over the years—the curious years, each emerging from that which preceded it,
Journeyers as with companions, namely, their own diverse phases,
Forth-steppers from the latent unrealized baby-days,
Journeyers gayly with their own youth—Journeyers with their bearded and well-grain’d manhood,
Journeyers with their womanhood, ample, unsurpass’d, content, 165
Journeyers with their own sublime old age of manhood or womanhood,
Old age, calm, expanded, broad with the haughty breadth of the universe,
Old age, flowing free with the delicious near-by freedom of death.
Allons! to that which is endless, as it was beginningless,
To undergo much, tramps of days, rests of nights, 170
To merge all in the travel they tend to, and the days and nights they tend to,
Again to merge them in the start of superior journeys;
To see nothing anywhere but what you may reach it and pass it,
To conceive no time, however distant, but what you may reach it and pass it,
To look up or down no road but it stretches and waits for you—however long, but it stretches and waits for you; 175
To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;
To take the best of the farmer’s farm and the rich man’s elegant villa, and the chaste blessings of the well-married couple, and the fruits of orchards and flowers of gardens,
To take to your use out of the compact cities as you pass through,
To carry buildings and streets with you afterward wherever you go, 180
To gather the minds of men out of their brains as you encounter them—to gather the love out of their hearts,
To take your lovers on the road with you, for all that you leave them behind you,
To know the universe itself as a road—as many roads—as roads for traveling souls.
The Soul travels;
The body does not travel as much as the soul; 185
The body has just as great a work as the soul, and parts away at last for the journeys of the soul.
All parts away for the progress of souls;
All religion, all solid things, arts, governments,—all that was or is apparent upon this globe or any globe, falls into niches and corners before the procession of Souls along the grand roads of the universe.
Of the progress of the souls of men and women along the grand roads of the universe, all other progress is the needed emblem and sustenance.
Forever alive, forever forward, 190
Stately, solemn, sad, withdrawn, baffled, mad, turbulent, feeble, dissatisfied,
Desperate, proud, fond, sick, accepted by men, rejected by men,
They go! they go! I know that they go, but I know not where they go;
But I know that they go toward the best—toward something great.
Allons! whoever you are! come forth! 195
You must not stay sleeping and dallying there in the house, though you built it, or though it has been built for you.
Allons! out of the dark confinement!
It is useless to protest—I know all, and expose it.
Behold, through you as bad as the rest,
Through the laughter, dancing, dining, supping, of people, 200
Inside of dresses and ornaments, inside of those wash’d and trimm’d faces,
Behold a secret silent loathing and despair.
No husband, no wife, no friend, trusted to hear the confession;
Another self, a duplicate of every one, skulking and hiding it goes,
Formless and wordless through the streets of the cities, polite and bland in the parlors, 205
In the cars of rail-roads, in steamboats, in the public assembly,
Home to the houses of men and women, at the table, in the bed-room, everywhere,
Smartly attired, countenance smiling, form upright, death under the breast-bones, hell under the skull-bones,
Under the broadcloth and gloves, under the ribbons and artificial flowers,
Keeping fair with the customs, speaking not a syllable of itself, 210
Speaking of anything else, but never of itself.
Allons! through struggles and wars!
The goal that was named cannot be countermanded.
Have the past struggles succeeded?
What has succeeded? yourself? your nation? nature? 215
Now understand me well—It is provided in the essence of things, that from any fruition of success, no matter what, shall come forth something to make a greater struggle necessary.
My call is the call of battle—I nourish active rebellion;
He going with me must go well arm’d;
He going with me goes often with spare diet, poverty, angry enemies, desertions.
Allons! the road is before us! 220
It is safe—I have tried it—my own feet have tried it well.
Allons! be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher! 225
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.
Mon enfant! I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me? 230
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?
End of Poem
There2! Take a look at the sixth paragraph! The sentences:
"Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air, and to eat and sleep with the earth."
That really reflexes the world. You know, Gie once said, that it would be better to live in the mountains or in villages. Far away from the mask of the hypocrite.
It is very interesting to me. Because you know, we've seen so many intelligent people in the city but none is brave enough to make a breakthrough. I think, it might be relevant to say that one day, this country will be led by someone who grow with the open air. He who understand how the nature work should understand how to lead in a radical but honest way. I hope it's not just a bullshit. Haha.
Btw, this is a poem made by Walt Whitman. And this is not a song. Hehe. Another why I post this is to train my English and maybe yours too. Hehe. Enjoy and rethink about yourself.
P.S. If you don't really understand all of these (As I do. T_T), just copas to Google translate. Haha.
Ditelorkan oleh Steve Yudea pada 8:08 PM
4 telor pecah